This Shabbat we read Parshat Shemini, a Torah portion which describes the inauguration of the Mishkan (the Tabernacle) and the profound rituals surrounding it, as well as the importance of the role of the priesthood led by Aaron and his sons. But during the celebration something goes terribly wrong. Two of Aaron’s sons, Nadav and Avihu, offer an aish zara, a “strange fire" before Gd. We aren’t entirely sure what the “strange fire” is; was it an offering that was misaligned with what Gd wanted? Was it because Gd did not command it? Was the sacrifice done incorrectly? There are volumes worth of midrash written about what happened, but consulting only the Torah portion, it isn’t clear what went wrong. What we do know from the text is that this offering results in their immediate death.
The next part is also deeply troubling, though more subtle. Nadav and Avihu die and Torah continues,
Moses said to Aaron, “This is what Hashem meant by saying: Through those near to Me I show Myself holy, And gain glory before all the people.” And Aaron was silent.
What exactly is Moses doing here? Is Moses rebuking Aaron? Perhaps he is saying, "This is the role for leaders like us and these are the consequences of not following the rules."
Or perhaps, Moses doesn't know what to say. Perhaps there are no words to offer as an explanation for the shocking death of Aaron’s sons. Perhaps Moses means to offer these words as a comfort to his brother? As if to say, "Gd is all powerful, unknowable, and we don't know why terrible things happen."
Whatever Moses means by this, Aaron's response is silence.
We might think, “How can he be silent? His children were taken from him!” Or we might think, “Of course he’s silent, he’s in shock! How can we expect him to respond?”
Grief, and our reactions to it, are complicated. There are ways society might expect us to respond to grief and then there are the ways we actually respond. We are only human after all.
Moses instructs Aaron and the remaining sons not to publicly mourn their death for fear that they will also be killed. Instead, Moses explains, everyone in the Israelite community will mourn on their behalf.
We can’t know how we will respond to grief but we can rely on the community to be there when we experience it. Parshat Shemini reminds us that it is the community’s responsibility to support the griever. In our Jewish tradition, we do this by being counted in a minyan for Kaddish prayer, by bringing food and other important comforts to the griever, and simply being present with them.
Especially in these last few weeks, I have experienced the way our Kehilat HaNahar community shows up for one another in the worst of times. Not only do you come out for funerals and shiva minyans, but our members bring food to the mourners, set out plates, clear tables, put dishes in the dishwasher, and organize all the unseen needs that add up over time for a grieving family.
This Shabbat, I want to thank our KHN community for all the ways you show up for each other. I am blessed to be the rabbi of a place that recognizes the community’s responsibility for one another during times of sorrow.
May we continue to show up for one another in times of sorrow, and G-d willing, in times of joy.
Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Janine Jankovitz
Kehilat HaNahar 85 West Mechanic St. New Hope, PA 18938
